Affirming Communication—Mindful Listening to and Speaking with Children

My observation.

I went to visit my son today as I do every day because he picks my fourteen year old daughter from school. Today I was off work so after I picked my daughter up and went to my doctor’s appointment I decided that I would make a special trip by there today to observe my grandchildren. Today was a day that Adonis (5) was not feeling well and he stayed home. Amari who’s sixteen months did not go to her child care center either. They were not dressed today for school like they usually are on a school day. I usually go in say hi give them kisses and I leave. Adonis is usually on the computer playing learning game or watching one his favorite shows and Amari is usually watching television. They have great parents that do not allow them to watch anything they’re usually watching educational programs which I adore.

Today I decided to go and do my observation with my grandchildren. Amari is just learning to come up the stairs independently and I didn’t see her come up. My son started talking to her and he said “You came up stairs by yourself?” and Amari babbled something back because she understood what he had said, I could tell by the smile on her face. Amari continued talking and she walked away into her room and started to play with some cups. The cups are part of a learning activity. The cups are different sizes. As she started to put the cups into one another by size I notice she put one in out of order. She looked at the cup she had in her hand (which should have been the next one) and she took the cup out and place the correct one in. I don’t know if she knew it was the wrong cup or if she was just taking a guess. I was pretty amazed at this and I know she is learning. Amari is also learning one sentence words.

Now Adonis came upstairs and jumped in the bed. Let me say both his parents were doing home- work. These children are so well mannered that they sit quietly on their own, don’t touch anything and ask for everything. They are well mannered and Adonis is very respectful. I am so proud of my son and his wife for taking such good care of my grandchildren and teaching them. The conversation I observed was my son and my grandson.

Adonis: “dad the computer is broke” I thought he meant the desktop he was watching downstairs’

Dad:”I know Adonis, it’s been broken.”

Adonis: What happened?

Dad: “It got dropped”

Adonis: Who dropped it?

Dad: “Your mother.”

Adonis: (to his mom) Mommy you broke the computer.

Then his mother said “I know Donnie, I got to fix it.”

Donnie said “oh” Then he got off the bed and went back downstairs to finish enjoying his program.

What I noticed and learned.

I know Adonis if he knew the computer was already broken. Adonis is a very active child and he takes medication to keep him calm during school and he sometime have good and bad days and he is very intelligent. He may have said it because he thought I didn’t know it was broke. I thing he was trying to tell me because he knows his dad is my son and he also know that children are supposed to do what their parents ask then to do, maybe he thought he was telling on his mom who broke the computer. I learned that Adonis was being a five year old child that wanted the truth about the computer to be heard by grandma and he was just being a child.

My connections between what I observed and the effective communication strategies presented in this week’s learning resources.
I related my observation connection to 

 What could have been done to make the communication more affirming and effective?

I would have like to hear Adonis response if his mom would have said that his dad broke the computer.

Share your thoughts with regard to how the communication interactions you observed may have affected the child's feelings and/or any influences it may have had on the child's sense of self-worth.

This is another event when I went to pick my daughter up again today and Adonis was at the computer watching as he always is watching “The Wiggles” This show has many sing-alongs and learning activities.  So he said “grandma come here let me show you something. He has put on the Spanish versions and was singing alone and asked me to sing too I said I don’t know the song. I would listen to the verses and then sing what I thought I heard I was very impressed. He said grandma sit down and watch this with me. There was a scene where we had to scream “wake up Jeff and I said it too fast. Adonis put his hand on me and said grandma you have to wait for them to count I’ll show you.” He said now listen and I waited and I listened and then he said you read, I shook my head and on the count of three we screamed at the same time. I know he loved it because I did too. I try to do a short activity with him and ask him how was school that day and he always tells me if he had a good day or a not so good day. I am learning from him and him from me,

Offer insights on how the adult-child communication you observed this week compares to the ways in which you communicate with the children.

I learned that my grandson has great teachers. I them once when I had to pick Adonis up from school and I my say I was very impressed with the morning welcome. One of the teachers was at the door checking lunch bags and boxes and the other teacher was in the classroom getting the children (kindergartners) ready for the morning curriculum. I feel I did a great job at participating and Adonis was happy I was there; he even sat in the chair with me and held my hand. When I had to leave he didn’t want me to go. I will see him again before the weekend is done and I will engage in another conversation and watch some more of his favorite shows.

What have you learned about yourself this week with respect to how well you talk with and listen to young children?

I learned that even though I’m grandma, I can be a great influence and a great teacher to my grandson too. Even though I’m family according to

In what ways could you improve? I am improving every day in the way I look at children and the way I perceive them. I am grateful to have in close reach children of all ages and whenever I have children come to my place of work with their parents I focus on the child and still do my job.  My job allows me to interact with people of all ages but I pay close attention to the children and have conversations. I could write a million stories but nothing replaces real life experiences.  I can’t think of anything right now, but I will keep doing what I’m doing and that is improving the lives of young children.

“Research highlights the importance of family involvement in children's school success (Epstein, Coates, Saunas, Saunders, & Simon, 1997; Ramey & Ramey, 1999; Snow, Burns, & Griffin, 1998). Children may be members of homeless families; families headed by a single parent or by gay or lesbian parents; or blended families, adoptive families, foster families, or intergenerational families.” (Arndt, McGuirr-Swartz, & Mary Ellen, 2008) And Grandmothers! “if we are to succeed in closing the achievement gap….we must put our efforts into creating high quality pre-kindergarten programs for the nation’s at-risk children”

 (A DISSERTATION SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF THE GRADUATE SCHOOL OF THE UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA BY Carolyn Jean Cherry)

 Arndt, Janet S; McGuire-Schwartz, Mary Ellen (2008) Early Childhood School Success: Recognizing Families as Integral Partners. [Abstract] Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/docview/210392507/abstract?accountid=14872